I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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