I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
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