I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
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I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
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just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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