i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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