Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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