So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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