Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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