Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize