I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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