she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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