Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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