**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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