just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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