My friends, they love my intelligence
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
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The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
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There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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