It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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