Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
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