She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
