We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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