The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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