anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My bed is full of blood and feathers
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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