so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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