yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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