I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
