let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
