DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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