Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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