would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
