i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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