This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
