what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
