Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize