I think i peed on brittanys purse
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize