He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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