he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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