Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
