Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
