i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Panties = found
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
