I must be too annoying 4 u.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
