people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
