She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
