You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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