It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
