Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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