Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
