you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
