return my video game
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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