I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Naked. naked and bneed help.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
