like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
