I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
