SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I understand Curling. That high.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
