So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
