I need help removing her.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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