They should really pass out barf bags in church
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
