i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
