after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
