My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
